MY APPROACH

I work differently than most traditional therapists. My style is a blend of psychotherapy and coaching and is fairly interactive. I’m part therapist, part coach, part translator, part referee, and part myth buster. Our work together is collaborative, and my style is curious and direct. I spend a lot of time trying to understand what’s happening consciously and unconsciously in your dynamic. I’m interested in your history, but more interested in how it gets in your way and what to do about it. 

No one grows in a comfort zone. That means getting unstuck won’t always be comfortable. 

You can count on me to say the hard truths out loud. The people who benefit most from working with me trust that I mean what I say with respect and regard, not criticism. Sometimes I’ll challenge you directly – always from a place of compassion and with the intention of helping you to move forward. My approach will help you to:

• Clarify your goals 

• Explore what issues concern you 

• Examine your blind spots

• Define the actual problem 

• Identify solutions and their pros and cons

• Come up with a plan for next steps

I strive to help people build the most emotionally generous relationships, but am rarely attached to a specific outcome, such as staying together or parting ways. 

WHAT I EXPECT FROM YOU

I need you to be at least as committed as I am to changing something that isn’t working for you. That means being willing to examine and take responsibility for your role. I only work with people who are ready to try new approaches with one another. Even small shifts like a different perspective or way of responding can transform an interaction. I ask that you’re open to:

• The potential that you have something to change on your end

• Constructive or corrective feedback, even when it’s hard to hear

• Letting go of a “right” or “wrong” or blaming stance

• Trying new things

• Approaching our work as teammates – with me as the coach and you as the players, working towards your shared goals

It’s natural to be skeptical. If you stay open to the possibility that my feedback can be useful, you’ll move closer to reaching your goals.

WHAT I’M NOT

If your goal is to “fix” your partner, or have me tell you who is right and who is wrong, I’m not the therapist for you. 

OK, YOU’RE READY TO GET STARTED

Before starting therapy, I encourage everyone to meet a few therapists to find the best match. I offer a free 15 to 30-minute phone consultation to discuss what’s bringing you in and assess our fit. If we decide to work together, we’ll begin with an Intensive Consultation Session to jump-start the process – a 3-hour session for individuals or two 3-hour sessions for partners. From there, I’ll recommend a plan for ongoing sessions or coaching support. My goal isn’t the traditional weekly sessions, but creating a realistic structure that supports meaningful progress. You need time in between our sessions to try new things and see what happens. I prefer a dosing approach to therapy, and the frequency and duration of sessions depends on each person or couple’s circumstances, level of distress, and coping mechanisms.

If it turns out that a different or more traditional therapist is a better fit, I’ll gladly provide referrals.